Iris? Never heard of her. (Solarballs crossover, Young Wizards methodology, GHI cameos)
Typical Horror Crossover
The planets furthest out took notice first: a gravitational anomaly, a pressure that pulsed, pinched, but did not seize. A traveler, thought at the time not to mean much of anything.Hardly a threat.
Neptune was the first to say hello: a friendly, irreverent planet; at worst the odd-looking stranger would just rebuff him and be on its way.
But she blinked, and smiled, and something about both those actions felt terribly, terribly wrong. Yet Neptune shrugged it off, since he knew what it was like to have quirks.
... Several hours later, he came chasing after the stranger in a panic, demanding to know where several of his moons had gone. He always remembered his moons, his family - how could they be missing?
And again the stranger - Iris, her name had been - blinked, and smiled. This was not a nice smile.
"As I am the Iris, you shall be the lens. They're not your moons any more."
Uranus may not have heard the scream, but he did hear several of his moons catching sight of Triton. Cracked far more than any normal rocky body could be while still being intact, he nevertheless could move.
But the look in his eyes was one of fear, and he tried not to come too close.
"It's- some new planet- she's a danger, don't let her get close - don't come close to me!"
Uranus did not spend any time fooling around, even if it meant leaving someone so distressed and damaged behind. He even ordered his own moons to pick travel buddies, to better keep track of each other.
Shortly thereafter, one of the dwarf planets arrived - Haumea, with his own ring but none of his moons. "I can't find a-any of the others," he'd said. "I don't remember- I don't know where my moons are!"
Uranus allowed him to tag along, more out of worry on if he ran across Triton than because he really wanted to watch over more celestial objects.
Indeed, perhaps this was serious enough that it was time to take this to the Sun...
The result of that conversation was enough to prevent the Iris from being sighted again for several hundred million years.
She'd made no sound, no overt fuss; instead, Jupiter simply came across her communing with Saturn, his oldest friend unnaturally quiet and still.
"What... what are you doing? What did you want with him?" Jupiter made sure not to be overly aggressive, but he was very, very alarmed and his tone of voice showed it.
"Oh, I'm forming a gateway! Very necessary step in my process, you see."
Before Jupiter could ask any questions - such as, gateway to what? - Ganymede soared forth, scowling. Europa shot Jupiter a startled look; apparently they were not on the same page here.
"And what'd you do with his moons, huh? They can't have all just run away; they could've come to us!"
The strange gas giant chuckled - a low, unnerving sound. "No, no, some of them did. Apparently their connection to this planet isn't very strong. But the others... they were very educational."
"Educational about what?" As much as Jupiter worried sometimes when his larger moons took initiative like this, these were definitely good questions to ask.
"Well, they've been very educational for my moons, for one. Not all of them know how moons work, and I'm afraid it takes a more 'hands on' approach to learn everything than these little ones were expecting... No harm done, however."
Jupiter found his own voice. "No harm done? No harm done? Where have you put these moons, then? Are they still alive?!"
The anger was no surprise, but then there was the fear - and that fear was swiftly validated, as with a very small pull of her gravity, she revealed her cluster.
Moons merged with each other - not just by gravity, but by some organic substance. Moons torn apart and fused with other moons.
And yes, some of them were still alive - and Jupiter as well as his moons were horrified at this, for even with their faces hidden, they could still speak.
Mostly to scream, but they were aware.
Jupiter decided he'd seen enough - and, warning the smallest moons to head to the asteroid belt, to warn the inner planets and the Sun, he charged.
Several hours later, those small moons returned: the Iris was gone, leaving Saturn in a coma, Jupiter mute and with far worse storms than normal... and several distorted moons.
Ganymede had been taken - dead, or worse, none of the survivors would say.
No one knew where Titan had gone, either.
At the same time - and quite possibly as a distraction - two entirely new moons had manifested inside the inner solar system, companioning the two planets closest to the Sun.
Well, companioning wasn't quite the right word: Venus, upon getting one look at 'Neith', and finding her appearance way to close to certain departed friends, declared, "Oh hell no, I am not going through with this 'monkey's paw' bullshit. No thanks!"
And promptly headed the opposite way, deranging his whole orbit in the process. Which meant he didn't see when Neith, frowning faintly, was torn apart by the solar wind...
But the others did. Mars, Mercury, and Earth and Luna. The Sun stared back, alarmed and baffled at once.
Then there was Vulcan, who was much more verbose - and disgruntled. "Seriously, boss? Did you think this through? I can guarantee I have less than a year existing in this orbit."
Mercury, eyes wide, struggled to find words for almost a minute. "O-okay, who are you?! A-and who's your boss?"
Vulcan sighed, tilting at the smallest planet in a dispassionate sort of way. "The Iris, of course. But there's no point running a long game when I'm going to be dead shortly, so... ask me anything?"
They certainly did, with each of the planets taking notes in their own way. And sure enough, being so close to the Sun's plasma dissolved the not-quite-real planet - not just in less than a year, but in a matter of weeks. Neith had been denied a chance to be truly acknowledged, but even getting attention wasn't enough to postpone that true death for Vulcan.
The changes kept coming, and faster. One day, Mars simply appeared in Earth's orbit - instead of having a chance to play and relieve stress, Mars had a ring, and Earth knew what that meant.
But since it was far too soon for either Phobos or even Deimos to have been ended that way, it also meant-
"Did... was it Iris?" Not The Iris, just Iris; Earth refused to give that interloper any kind of reverence. Mars hesitated, then shook no.
"She... she marked them, Earth. They were changing, and they were scared, a-a-and... I didn't want them to suffer, okay?" Mars choked up harder, tears beginning to track across his surface; Earth suspected this wasn't for the first time.
Coming as close as their Roche Limits would allow, Earth held Mars as best he could, offered what comfort he could.
But what really chilled him was what Mars said, after gaining back some modicum of composure:
"Earth- Earth, don't let her get Luna!"
Tokophobia (The Really Messed Up Stuff)
Nothing got worse than that for almost a year; Earth kept a close eye on his Moon, but also for the smaller space debris and satellites, in case they decided to misbehave. Humans, the latest kind of complex lifeform, had finally established themselves, and taken to investigating the surrounding cosmos with a surprising swiftness.Earth couldn't protect them forever. That didn't mean he wouldn't try.
Which meant he was completely startled - not by Luna disappearing, but when Luna brought someone back. And someone who actually belonged in this Solar System, at that.
"Titan?"
The larger Moon smiled, though didn't say anything right away. Instead, Luna went right on: "Yeah, it's him! Funny, right? I, uh, found him in the Asteroid Belt - I didn't go very far, honest?"
Earth quirked an eyebrow. "Nnnot my biggest worry, actually. How long ago did you find him there?"
Earth wasn't going to blame Luna for being restless, nor Titan for not having stuck by Saturn; while something felt off about this picture, Earth couldn't say what it was for sure.
But if he pushed Luna away because he didn't handle this well, his Moon might not come back. And he really didn't want that to happen.
As expected, Luna blushed. "... Some months ago?" Titan snickered, ribbing at the other moon lightly with his gravity. A gentle gesture, nothing that meant real harm...
But something still seemed wrong. And Earth didn't know what.
"Do I wanna know for what?" Luna blushed harder, which was probably answer enough in and of itself. But-
Behind them, almost at the distance of the Asteroid Belt - something glinted, and something smiled. Earth paled, and Luna twitched.
Titan, at last, frowned. He poked Luna again, and something finally clicked for Earth:
His Moon wasn't exactly facing him. Whatever his Dark Side was facing, it wasn't the Iris.
Then it really hit him: Iris was looking at him! Mentally, all alarms began going off at full blast.
"Luna- behind you, there's-"
Only, Iris wasn't at the Asteroid Belt anymore. It was like having someone three-quarters the size of Jupiter suddenly right in front of you.
Earth would have jumped right out of his crust if it were in fact physically possible. "GAH! What the Hell-"
The Iris laughed, and Luna looked truly unnerved, because Titan was laughing too.
"How-" Earth swallowed, tried again. "How long have you been in him? Is- is he even still in there?"
"Hmmmm - I do like that you're smart, but you just cut this little drama short for me. I'll make sure you pay for that, dear one."
Before Earth could get out any comments on that - 'dear one'???? - Iris moved smoothly on to answering the question, as her moons gloopily began to fold out around her. "He still is - not in control, of course, I had no need for that, but his reactions have been delightful. Mostly fear for you," she added, nodding at Luna, who had begun to look quite ill.
"Especially when your rendezvous got more... ah, adventurous, we'll say." She winked, and it was hard to decide whether that action or her implications were more upsetting.
"You see, I was planning on this taking another year or so, at which point-" her grin deepened, and Earth wondered why the Sun hadn't done anything, where was anyone else, how could he and Luna get away, when she was so close-
"At which point, I'm sure your moon would have gladly joined us in making you mine."
Earth's core stuttered to a stop. For once, this was literal; his magnetic field fluctuated dangerously, and a chill burst along his axis before subsiding.
"Wh- bu- I don't - What the Hell do you want?!?!"
Luna screamed; something had broken his surface, and then Earth screamed, even as the Iris answered-
"I wandered away from the cold core of my dead star seeking only one thing: a fitting mate. And you are exactly what I'm looking for."
There were increasingly incoherent images, past this point. Seeing Luna, Luna begging Earth, or the Sun, to destroy him before everything he was was consumed by whatever had infected him through the possessed Titan; a solar flare finally finding its target, at first cutting his beloved Moon in two, then vaporizing him completely.
Iris, defying physics again, avoiding all the flares - dragging Earth out of his orbit, toward the Asteroid Belt - holding him hostage? - but not taking him all the way out of the Goldilocks Zone.
Meeting each of the moons of Iris; being touched by them, which was so, so much worse than just looking at them. Instead of seismic damage, they could snatch life straight off his surface, or his oceans - studying them, or even just eating them, he refused to register.
But it didn't end there: Iris herself wanted to play with them, sounding at times disappointed with what she saw. "What are the Woodcrawlers doing, do I have to encourage them? Hnn, there's very different kinds of help I have these days... Now, stay still."
Pain, pain, so much pain; if his humans had been particularly ill-behaved, digging or blowing things up and causing more damage than they should have, then this proved worse. Things burrowing in him, able to spread their wrongness just from being there-
They were spreading and sprouting inside of his Earthlings, too. He could feel it; like a funhouse mirror of pain, never-ending.
But it still got worse.
The burrowing continued; the bulk of Iris herself hovering close, too close- doubtless she was breaking physics to be this near to him without shattering him
Touching him; tendrils on his surface, burrowing through his mantle; sensations that may have tickled instead were painful, because of who was doing it, because of the impossibility, because of EVERYTHING ELSE SHE'D DONE.
He'd started crying, at some point; he didn't remember when. And Iris simply cooed at him, a sound all the more eerie for being gentle. Not well-meant; this was not a kind being-
Something reached his outer core, and he screamed.
The contact went on; the exploration of his life - and himself - went on, and on, a terrible hell that never seemed to end.
And yet, somehow, it got worse. "What's this?" she asked, curious, probing at some uneven debris scattered in his mantle; looking at nothing in particular, his vision got worse as the intimacy crashed over him once more.
"Why, it's here too!" Another spot, under the Pacific Ocean; he was paralyzed, he couldn't even scream right now-
"... I think there's enough for a mini planet here. How lovely! Let's find out what that would have looked like together, alright, dear one?"
Earth just cried, soundless in the vacuum of space. If this was going to get worse, how worse would this get?
The process had been simultaneously utterly horrifying, and entirely clinical. No excess mess, no cruel jokes: just the process.
Making space to gather all of the strange debris hadn't even hurt - though Earth thought it possible he'd simply become numb to pain. Having something slowly form up inside him was uncomfortable, strange, not like harboring life at all - but it didn't hurt.
He'd never really envied the various ways Life reproduced... but this was definitely going to fuel some kind of aversion in the future. If he survived this.
"And now... the final push: some selective gravity. Please remain still."
He couldn't not comply, but the pain was sufficient to make him wish for death. He'd have screamed, but by now his voice had given out; no surprise there.
And then, there was surprise, as a planet from some of his oldest memories- emerged, okay, he could use that word without panicking. Emerged.
... He didn't need to breathe, sure, but he was definitely hyperventilating. "Theia?!" Even without sound, it wouldn't have been hard to read what he was saying.
The Iris was delighted. "Oh, you know her? Excellent! Perhaps we could... experiment-"
And that was when Theia charged at the far larger planet, shouting in rage. "Get away from him!"
She turned, and an entirely different pain hit Earth's core with the look in her eyes. "I- the entire time, I heard - I'm so sorry - we have to get rid of her, now!"
The Iris screamed in rage right back, protesting this defiance.
From above the ecliptic, a narrow beam struck at the anomalous planet. "WHO DARES-"
But she'd shifted up to look for the source - just enough for a solar flare to hit its mark.
Earth shook; from aftershock-pain, from the eldritch scream, from the searing heat-
Decompression and Reflection
It was warm, as he blinked awake. Not painfully so: just enough warm. And he was still tired, he realized. And sore. And-"Earth? You still with us?"
Earth opened his eyes wide, searching for that achingly familiar voice. "Luna?! I-is that really you?" He found his Moon, back at the usual distance in orbit - they were back in his orbit - Luna was alive!
Earth, all at once, found himself beginning to cry. "You're okay? I- wait, no, it's not been okay, I'm sorry Luna, sorry for everything-"
"Whoa!" His Moon cut him off, worry clear in expression and voice alike. In the distance, which came in to focus slowly, Earth could tell the others were hovering; even the Sun looked more concerned than upset or disgruntled, unless he was really missing something.
"Let's slow it down a little, okay, pal? You were, uh, out of it for some time, even after we got you back home." Luna paused. "... I do appreciate hearing it, though. Maybe if we could make this a regular thing without terrible things happening to all of us?"
It may have been an attempt at a joke, though neither of them really laughed; Earth hugged Luna carefully with his gravity, as best he could, trying to sort out what had happened to the slowly-fading sense of nightmarish immediacy.
"... Okay, I need to be sure. Luna, we've never had a visiting planet named Iris, r-right?"
His Moon looked baffled, though thankfully did Earth the courtesy of not immediately assuming his planet had gone insane (again). "Nnnno - would this have been a recent thing?"
Earth shook no. "More like- someone who'd been around millions of years. Not since the beginning, but not- not like, the last year. No visitors?"
Luna confirmed the no. Earth heaved a sigh of relief. "How- how long was I out? After heading off Ceres- did he come back with us?"
He was almost surprised by his own worry - and then the memories flashed, of what the intersections of their lives had been like, and guilt crashed over him again.
"He's recuperating in the Asteroid Belt - it was way less of a hassle dealing with him after you had words with the guy, I'll say that much."
Earth's gaze drifted to the others again, slowly settling down more.
"... Astrodude- he's okay, right? I- I mean, he's not-"
"He's okay," Luna gently confirmed. Then he perked up. "In fact, Dark Side filled me in on this, did you know he wasn't the only guy who's survived in space a long time? The guy went by Cosmo, and he stole the ship of that robot who was bothering Astrodude - the other moons found him while trying to hold down the fort with the Sun-"
The conversation went on for some time, Earth being caught up by an increasingly also-relieved Luna on some of the absurdities and plot twists he'd missed.
But some aspects of the nightmare - for it'd been a nightmare, some fucked-up version of whatever he was afraid of, thrown at him by his core as he recovered from this latest ordeal - weren't so quick to fade away. At one point, when Luna brought up Titan, Earth flinched - and the planet quickly realized it would be better to explain than for anyone to get the wrong idea.
The moons had been through enough. No need to give them extra baggage from shit that hadn't even happened...
"Hey, uh. Luna. About Titan... Okay, I do want to know how he and you are doing, but that's not... are you seeing each other?"
If he'd been aiming to tease his Moon, Luna's reaction would have been perfect. "WHAT. I - wha - I mean - Noooooo?!" Luna squinted. "This isn't some weird kind of testing for if you need to shovel-talk him, is it? Because it's not warranted, I swear!"
Earth tried to laugh, though mostly it just sounded like a sigh. "Don't worry, that's not what I'm about to ask. If anything, I'd be way more worried if you were trying to rush into anything!"
Luna looked concerned all over again - then, some kind of lightbulb must have gone off: "Is this more about that planet who doesn't exist?"
"... Yyyyeah. It was all kinds of messed up. He'd- something had happened to Saturn, and you came across him in the Asteroid Belt. Really hit it off. But."
Luna's eyes narrowed. "I don't like where this is going."
"I didn't either. You see, it wasn't him. He'd been possessed, like-"
"Like some awful sci-fi movie?"
Earth nodded. "Yeah. Like that. And- however it uh. Manifested. He infected you. With- whatever it was she could do."
Luna leaned away; Earth let him. "Ew! Ew ew ew!"
"Exactly! But... it was a dream, a nightmare, so it didn't happen. I just- don't want to be reacting to that next time I see him. Or for you to."
Luna grimaced. "Still. I'd rather know why than just... guess. And I take it you don't want Titan thinking this is his fault somehow."
"Right. That's a precedent I wanna stop, y'know?"
The two fell for a time into a companionable silence.
The next time Earth was awake, the rest of the rocky planets were hovering a little more closely. Luna took to the side - ready to tell the others to back off if necessary, but willing to let Earth sort things out for himself to start, if he wanted.
The gesture was appreciated, even as Earth gave them all the side-eye. "... Did I forget an apology or something? I know we did a lot of that before Saturn finished bringing me back here, but I've been asleep a lot since then, so I can't guarantee I didn't miss anything."
As satisfying as it had been for everyone to admit the secret-keeping and (between certain planets) constant harassing had been not okay, a lot of that had also been explained by the repressed horrifying suicide attempt deal. All told, the only one who hadn't really had to apologize for a LOT had been Luna, and even his Moon had been carrying a lot of remorse - and blaming himself for things that weren't his fault.
But Earth wasn't particularly interested in ruminating; it seemed like a hell of a crutch, preventing them from adjusting to change. And they'd all needed to change.
"It's- it's about Neptune."
Earth froze. "Wait - is he dead? Did Iris get him after all?"
Luna shot him a panicked look; as Earth realized what he'd even said, he wished he could facepalm. The disturbed looks on his friends' faces were similarly illuminating.
"Right, sorry. That was a nightmare, nothing to do with what we've all been dealing with. What happened?"
One thing he wasn't sure he was used to was just... resting. Life was always getting up to something, especially the humans - but after his particularly disastrous trance-driven quest to the Kuiper Belt, it was going to take things a lot longer to get back to normal.
Sometimes, though, he almost appreciated not spending all that extra energy keeping their actions in check. And when he caught himself thinking that way, he did feel bad about it.
That part, he wasn't sure who to discuss it with, or even approach it.
Sometimes, solutions to problems just appeared. There was no logic to it, no conscious summoning... but when the solution proved subconscious in nature, perhaps that was how serendipity worked.
Such was how Earth elected to explain being back in the mindscape: no terrifying existential quest... Well, maybe. Not as terrifying, anyway.
But if there was anyone who'd know about that inexplicably detailed nightmare, who else but the two whose fragments rested in his core?
... That, and he did feel the need to apologize if they had seen the dream. It had just been that messed up of a nightmare.
Theia seemed rattled, once he'd found them again and caught them up - but still in a decent amount of cheer, all things considered. "Still kind of weirded out I was in there, but enough of it feels like it was symbolic, as opposed to a direct danger, that I think we can work through it together!"
But Earth found himself paying more concern to what Proto-him thought, given the other proto-planet seemed much more twitchy about the subject matter.
"Not sure why it was a black hole, at least part of the time - but the threat she posed, it felt almost familiar?"
Theia tilted in confusion, but Earth could get somewhat more of the gist: "Because she was hunting us down, picking off our support network almost one by one? Because, even though we weren't interested, we weren't given a choice? ... Because even though we were hurt, bad, we didn't die?"
He wasn't accusatory in his tone - or at least, Earth hoped he wasn't - but Proto flinched at each question all the same. "I suppose... all of those things, at least in part. And- I didn't know what to make of it, when the Sun spelled out why keeping to our orbits was important. That we weren't just... the last stage, of how complex the universe could get."
Theia spoke up, sounding sad: "I know I was excited to find out what Life could be like... but it wasn't that way for the rest of you, was it?"
Earth got the sense this wasn't exactly a question. Proto didn't respond to it as one, anyway.
"It felt like we'd been given a test with no indication of if we could pass - or what would happen if we couldn't perform. Or if one of us succeeded, and then failed - that it could all get canceled out because..."
Again, Earth plucked out his best guess at the answer: "Because something bigger and scarier decided to come our way, and drag us away? Or crush us?"
Theia looked alarmed, now, but elected not to speak for once, instead offering Proto quiet comfort with her presence. This seemed to have some effect - only for Proto to continue speaking after a deep breath:
"And- even before we collided, I was scared of what having Life would be like - we knew nothing about it, even then. Not what it could look like, or how to detect it. Even Jupiter or Saturn could only speak to what they knew about for sure, and that knowledge had its limits.
"So, when it did happen, part of me- part of me thought, 'This is it. This is how Life happens. Life comes from death, dying, suffering...'"
Proto shook, slowly. "In a way, it was worse than thinking that the universe was meant to be cold and empty. That- that no matter what we wanted, Life would make itself happen, taking from us anything... including our own lives."
Silence filled the space; unbidden, Earth joined in the huddle, surprising both proto-planets in the process.
[NOT DONE YET]