The Peridexis | Alt OCs (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
peridexion) wrote2025-11-10 11:45 am
peridexion) wrote2025-11-10 11:45 am
Entry tags:
Little Talks (Interviews)
Prompt: "When did you stop trusting your star?" / "When did you stop trusting your planets?"
1. The Sun.
"SO, a long time ago, I had trusted my first planets to look after the forming rockies. Keep their orbits clear, don't disturb them, the works.
"I didn't find out until MUCH LATER, that not only did my eldest planet break free from his orbit, disturbing ALL of those first rocky planets' orbits, sending them to my surface or crushing them himself... he conspired with my second to keep a third - X - from telling me the truth, ejecting him far enough away from me that I could no longer sense him!
"But the REAL kicker is, they also lied about why X had left! Letting me be mad at him for leaving, instead of just telling me what they had done in the first place! What they thought I would do to them, I don't know. Then, much more recently, allll of that came out in the open; X returned, Jupiter admitted the destruction he'd caused, and both he and Saturn admitted they had thrown X out! Who cares if it's an accident at that point, they'd still LIED about, about everything!
"That was when I stopped, I think. Because so much of what I'd come to rely upon... had been built on a lie."
2. Mercury
"I was - I think the most accurate term is 'second gen'. Most of us rocky planets are. And we collided with each other a LOT in those first years of the solar system. Even with Jupiter changing and trying to do all he could to help us.
"I never really talk about this, but I remember. I remember having died. And then coming back. And the Sun... I'm the closest to him. He absolutely dominates, both the solar system and less literal things.
"I don't, I don't really have friends. The Sun said I was his friend - the past tense bit is probably right, anyway. He sure liked me for being close, but. He never liked me going anywhere, or just not paying attention to him. I get that he's desperate to have someone, to connect, but he's... intimidating, that's the simplest way to put it. So when he gets an idea into his core, the simplest thing to do is... go along with it. Or point out when it conflicts with something else he likes.
"There were two other rocky planets, that aren't here now. They were proto planets, and I wasn't the closest with either of them so I won't go into detail on their story, but they died. They chose to die, rather than anyone else forcing them to do it. The Sun was furious, of course - he saw so many of us, proto-planets, die that he can't stand more of it happening - and he wanted someone to blame.
"I told him, that it came down to it being their choice. That the best thing we could do, instead of punishing anyone, was to move on. I...
"I never wanted him to take out his anger at them on Earth. It was never Earth's choice, or Luna's choice, how he was made! And seeing that, how he treated them, when from the sound of it he remembered dying, from both of their memories... I think that was when I stopped actually trusting the Sun. Not just being scared of him, but when I started thinking I should keep some ideas to myself. All that time I've been enabling him - his choices are his, and I don't think I could have stopped the Sun in any of his plans, if I'd spoken up more... but maybe I could have. Maybe I'm just a bad friend. I don't know for sure anymore."
3. Jupiter
"So I'm Jupiter; largest planet of this system, and the second-most massive being in it following the Sun. He's... my first memories are of him. He was so happy to have someone to share - just being alive with.
"But. Well, he IS over 99% of our solar system's mass, and even I'm just a tenth of a percent of it all. He was friendly, but could be frightening. It was a little easier, when Saturn and- and X gained their sentience, same with Uranus and Neptune. They were all a lot closer to me in size.
"I don't have an excuse, for how I killed those first rocky planets. It. It still haunts me, tell you the truth. I know I can never make up for that, not really. My role in this system now is to keep the Asteroid Belt in check, to keep the younger generations of rockies safe.
"... I still feel like I've failed them. Then, and now. The Sun's right; I was too scared of him to tell the truth, so when it did come out it was a whole lot worse for everyone. Not sure if that's a lack of trust, or just being a coward. And - history can't literally repeat itself, but it does rhyme, and that describes our protest of the Sun's enforcing orbits pretty well too.
"I think - it would be easier to just be punished if I knew the others would be safe. If it could just be me... but life's never that simple. Even when they were angry with me, when they didn't know what to think of me anymore, the work of keeping the Belt in check still needed to be done. They didn't deserve to suffer all of that. Not my moons, not the other planets. Not even X.
"I'm sorry. I just... I wish I could be enough. Or do enough, or something, to fix all of this."
4. Venus
"I know we haven't talked about her yet, but I'm going to talk about Theia. It's... easier, than just talking about myself.
"She was - she wasn't the youngest rocky planet, or the smallest, but by Sagittarius she was smartest, and the most... eager. Energetic. She wanted to know what Life was about, she wanted to make plans when the rest of us were just idiots trying to figure out who was better.
"She was my first friend. The first in this system I could think of as a friend, anyway. I - I did, or thought I did, everything I could to fuel that friendship. All I ended up doing was weirding her out and pushing her towards other people.
"Like Proto. Proto-Earth. It's easier to not be so mad at him now, but I hated him. Was jealous, rather. Real stupid of me to make such a big deal out of it. But then, he is - they are... they're also dead now. Both of them.
"The thing is, I knew the Sun would disapprove, of their plan to be a double-planet system. They were both large enough that their orbiting around each other would be fundamentally unstable, a lot riskier than the small double-planet Pluto and Charon. So I was jealous, but I also didn't want to see Theia dead.
"I told her - when she was feeling down-and-out about her own plan, about her hopes and dreams of bringing Life into the universe - to go ahead and talk to the Sun. I thought the Sun would say his piece, do his thing, and there'd be no more plan. No more of Theia and Proto as a duo.
"I was wrong. More than that, Theia was miserable when he separated them, placing them in exact opposite parts of Proto-Earth's orbit. That was when... no. That wasn't when I stopped trusting the Sun, but that was when I realized what I'd done was wrong. Maybe not, uh, existentially, but for them it was the wrong answer.
"So. So I went to her, did a bang-up job of an apology. This was years later, and nothing had changed. And, when the Sun was distracted - I threw her out of orbit, told her to go to to Proto. I trusted her, that she'd figure out what to do."
"And maybe it was right, because we have organic Life in our system now... but it was still wrong, because they're both dead. And we just... for the longest time, we never talked about them. Each of us mourned them alone. I'm pretty sure the Sun still hates them both to this day, for going against his orders. And that... that's when I stopped trusting the Sun. When he just dismissed their memories as so much space dust."
5. Saturn
"I'm not the best talker of us, usually. My memory is terrible, but I've been working on it, for my moons' sake.
"Most of what - of what I regret, doesn't have to do with the Sun. He didn't know about what happened to the moons that- that died and became my rings. He had nothing to do with it! So while he's frightening, a-and I know lying about what happened to X made things worse in the end, that's not what haunts me the most.
"I know I've done wrong. I just can't remember it. And if I can't remember how it happened, how can I make sure it doesn't happen again? How can I criticize the Sun when I can't do better myself? I don't deserve my moons, but that even some of them are willing to trust me anyway... it means everything.
"There is one thing: the way we were, when we were compelled to follow our real orbits, I couldn't see most of my moons at all. I don't know what's wrong with me, or if it's tied to my terrible memory, but I don't want to forget their names again! I need - I need our 'cartoonish physics' so I can keep myself on track and be a better planet to them, as ironic as that maybe sounds."
6. Uranus
"Iiii don't have a specific incident with the Sun - I've faced a solar flare or two, for cutting out of my orbit to explore - but it's just. A trend. He's a right terror when he's angry, so a lot of what I do - or did - was just about going along to get along. To belong, to have friends.
"The thing is, I already had my cousin, Neptune. And my moons - before I scared them away, and it took an awful long time for me to get myself straight and really apologize where they'd hear me out. I... neglected them, just for someone I thought thought I was cool. I get it now, that X was just - that he didn't want my friendship, he just wanted me in his corner. He put all our moons in danger, trying to get revenge against Jupiter. And I still followed him, e-even when I felt guilty, because I couldn't hear that anyone else wanted me around for me.
"Neptune stopped me. He - he has memory troubles, way worse than Saturn, since his orbit's so far out against the Kuiper Belt. But he said... he said he'd always remember me. And his moons.
"So he was there for me, when I was actually at my lowest. ... I think I can deal with being scared of the Sun, as long as we're together. Us, and our moons."
7. Neptune
"Is it okay if I treat this like I'm talking to Triton? Because a lot of this IS about him. And how he deserved the truth, even after... even after.
"So reeeaally early on in our lives, there were a lot of proto rocky planets, especially in the inner solar system. They crashed into each other a LOT, no matter what the Sun did, and it was pretty gruesome. He... the Sun, never took it well. Uranus was scared, I was scared - not even of death, morbid as it was! Just of him.
"And we met a couple of rocky planets in the Kuiper Belt too! Their names are... Pluto and Charon, that's it! They're a double planet, or double moon, or planet-and-moon. Not sure the distinction matters. Anyway, we took them to the Sun, who was really happy to meet them! It was nice to see him happy instead of upset and all.
"But, after we got back... I never saw exactly what happened, I know I told Triton the truth about that. I think I was asleep, when my gravity pulled him in. I had a small number of moons then, but none of them had woken up yet.
"When I next woke up, there was... there was all this debris, and Triton was unconscious. I never - I never saw his twin, his partner. My gravity must have split them up, too. I'm sorry, but 'I'm sorry' never sounds like enough for something that... big. That wrong.
"And Uranus reminded me of what the Sun was like, seeing all those destroyed planets. If I'd told the Sun the truth, would he have punished me? But that I could have lived with. Instead, I was scared for Triton. What if the Sun had blamed him, for what my gravity did?
"So... I'm pretty sure the Sun just didn't care, or something, since he didn't attack either of us. Not sure if that means I never NEEDED to lie, or if the Sun's priorities were elsewhere. I can understand that! It's just hard to predict; all we have is hindsight. We've done a LOT of things that may not have been necessary, in hindsight. All of us made mistakes. All of us - at least sometimes - are at the mercy of physics and the ways of this universe. It is what it is; we just have to be willing to live with it.
So if - if the others, my moons, don't feel safe around me with the truth out, then they have the right to... to find their own way. I want them to be safe and happy, no matter what the Sun does, or what I do!"
8. Mars
"Is this... is all this really necessary? Taking a hard look at- at everything? E-especially to strangers, people who weren't there. It all feels overwhelming, still, to think about. At least for me.
"So you know about Proto-Earth and Theia at this point, right? I - I guess you could say I grew up with them, they were part of the same 'generation' of rocky planets as me. I was always closer with Proto than Theia; it was easier, to share things and learn things together with him. That made it a lot harder... when he chose Theia. She. She encouraged him to be brave, in a way I never did, I guess. And- and then everything with the Sun, and them wanting to share an orbit...
"I just wanted him to be happy. Jupiter tried to help me understand, but- but you shouldn't have to die to get to be happy, right?!
"Th-that's what I mean, when I said this was overwhelming. And it didn't stop there.
"The Sun asked everyone what part they'd had to play in it; and after he questioned us all, I thought it'd be over. Their - Proto and Theia's - their debris reformed into a new planet-and-moon system. They didn't know what was going on, not really.
"Just, even now, both of them sometimes act in ways Proto or Theia would. It's hard not to see it, once you've known them all. I think I have a harder time separating them than most, just because the feelings are so strong.
"The thing was, the Sun still wanted Life. He never wanted to admit that Theia - that any of us - could have understood the ways of the universe more than he did. But once we - Venus, Earth and I - started developing more of the right conditions, especially gathering enough water...
"I had - there's these chunks of solid rock in my mantle and crust. I was born small, so I had a harder time recycling them. All that time orbiting the Sun, fighting the solar wind... my atmosphere and magnetic field, they used to be more than they are now.
"I don't like thinking about what happened next. How I lost them both. I- I know, now, what Jupiter did, and it hurts to know what he was like before he changed, but I think- I keep thinking about how he had to watch, what the Sun did with us.
"... Right. Right. So the Sun likes games, and competitions and stuff. He turned developing Life 'first' into a game. Figuring out how chemistry became biology, manipulating our environments to make them more habitable. We all had to do it, the three of us. I never liked it, definitely not as much as Venus and Earth did. It was exhausting. And.
"And if we complained, or if we didn't all complete one of his goals before his arbitrary time limit, he... it wasn't a solar flare, I don't think. But it hurt, and it reset all our efforts. If we were doing something with asteroids or played with them instead of completing the latest challenge, he made us eat them instead. They weren't sentient, not those. But it still wasn't good for me, not when I already had so much material I couldn't melt down and reuse.
"Venus - he always wanted life. Never wanted to ADMIT it, or show weakness, but I could see it well enough. He'd have done anything to make things stick. ... But he always hated himself more. I think he was sabotaging himself, because he couldn't imagine it working out for him.
"And then... I know the Sun carries a lot of weight, and even with the things he does, or how crazy he acts, he cared. He didn't want us destroyed, no matter what we got up to. But Earth... the Sun was always hardest on him."
"Can, can I stop for now? I think I need a break."
9. Earth
"Ugh, can you all stop looking at me like that? It's like, because I have Life, everyone thinks I'm fragile and can't take care of myself!
"... Sorry. That was out of line. But you're all here because of what X said about our solar system, and you wanted the rest of the story so you could have a more accurate picture, right? ... I don't like having so many people paying this much attention to me. I know Luna doesn't like crowds, and I'm starting to think I don't, either.
"Thanks. I don't know what I did that finally made Life take - stars know I've nearly lost them way too frequently over the past billion years - but if there's one thing I know, it's that I'm proud of them. That's what being a pl- being a parent means, right?
"Okay, so the Sun's always been crazy. At least as long as I've known him, and I know, I know, I'm the youngest. They told you about Proto and Theia, right? Yeah, I remember them now - that is, I have their memories. Luna may have some, too, but every time we try to compare notes, something seems to happen and we have another crisis to handle. It never ends.
"So, Proto and Theia. I remember their lives. A-and their deaths. That was not fun dealing with right away, either; I was... I got flashes of their memories whenever Theia's name was mentioned. It freaked everyone else out.
"... I still feel kind of responsible, for the rest of the solar system not getting to mourn them more. Everyone seemed to think I'd have another episode, so they just stopped mentioning them altogether. Not a great choice, there.
"Do I remember how- oh. You want to hear about that. I know I talk about my Earthlings a lot - they get up to so much! - but not so much how it started. ...
"No, I'm fine! Stop looking at me like that! I'm fine, I can keep going, I swear.
"So there were all these... not so much stages, as events. There always seemed to be something - objects from the Kuiper Belt, dust fields we were passing through, stray gamma rays - and then I'd get sick, and it'd nearly wipe out everything I had, all the Life I'd harbored to that point.
"Wait, you don't mean that? W-well, there were several extinction events, and they hurt, but it's not really fair to say they were anyone's fault. Jupiter, or Neptune... we don't always control what our gravity does. And lately, anyway, the problems have mostly been... social.
"Most of my problems were... pushing others away, or treating them like prizes instead of- of people. But, Mercury and Luna... when I was at my lowest, they came back after me. Wanted to be sure I wanted to get better, spent time and energy making sure I recovered.
"My lowest? Well, uh. I tried to throw myself into the Sun. Hey! Hey!! I'm okay now, so stop... stop panicking. Please? Just let me talk?
"... So. Do you want to hear more about the present, or the past?
"I. I don't remember? I don't think the Sun's locked us in orbit - or on our axial tilts - before, but he could have. There's. Still some things I just don't remember. I surprised Venus once, not remembering when he had surface water and a thinner atmosphere. But he said that was only 700 million years ago, and I know I was conscious and looking after my Earthlings then! I wasn't in another coma!
"Yyyeah, I ended up in one while trying to sort out Proto and Theia's memories. Can you all stop getting distracted? Please?
"So, past. As I was trying to say, there's things I still don't remember. All those extinction events, they've all happened within the last billion years. And each time, even though I was scared witless, Life's been able to recover. Even- even after the dinosaurs went extinct, Life grew back with a vengeance. Everything from bacteria on up... they have a system. My biomes each have a place, food chains, carbon cycles and so on, to keep themselves stable. Homeostasis. But it does leave scars. It's like... I'm regrowing me, every time something happens to them.
"So the Sun, and I really don't like saying this, has a point. I can't just... leave my orbit, or play asteroid dodgeball with Mars, or spend time with the outer solar system's moons and get to know them better, just because they're things I WANT to do. I have to be responsible, even when I don't feel like it.
"That's... not so much being a parent, as what being an 'adult' means, right? Putting more serious matters first?
"Ugh, fine, I'll start again. I'm four-point-five billion years old, and I'm still the youngest rocky planet in this system. I have one moon - Luna - and I really can't imagine being without them. I have friends, and... we've failed each other, but that doesn't mean we stop being friends, or stop being a system, right? We still have things in common, even the things we need to work on, but we're still better together than apart, or alone.
"And the Sun...
"I. I don't. I don't feel so good-"
1. The Sun.
"SO, a long time ago, I had trusted my first planets to look after the forming rockies. Keep their orbits clear, don't disturb them, the works.
"I didn't find out until MUCH LATER, that not only did my eldest planet break free from his orbit, disturbing ALL of those first rocky planets' orbits, sending them to my surface or crushing them himself... he conspired with my second to keep a third - X - from telling me the truth, ejecting him far enough away from me that I could no longer sense him!
"But the REAL kicker is, they also lied about why X had left! Letting me be mad at him for leaving, instead of just telling me what they had done in the first place! What they thought I would do to them, I don't know. Then, much more recently, allll of that came out in the open; X returned, Jupiter admitted the destruction he'd caused, and both he and Saturn admitted they had thrown X out! Who cares if it's an accident at that point, they'd still LIED about, about everything!
"That was when I stopped, I think. Because so much of what I'd come to rely upon... had been built on a lie."
2. Mercury
"I was - I think the most accurate term is 'second gen'. Most of us rocky planets are. And we collided with each other a LOT in those first years of the solar system. Even with Jupiter changing and trying to do all he could to help us.
"I never really talk about this, but I remember. I remember having died. And then coming back. And the Sun... I'm the closest to him. He absolutely dominates, both the solar system and less literal things.
"I don't, I don't really have friends. The Sun said I was his friend - the past tense bit is probably right, anyway. He sure liked me for being close, but. He never liked me going anywhere, or just not paying attention to him. I get that he's desperate to have someone, to connect, but he's... intimidating, that's the simplest way to put it. So when he gets an idea into his core, the simplest thing to do is... go along with it. Or point out when it conflicts with something else he likes.
"There were two other rocky planets, that aren't here now. They were proto planets, and I wasn't the closest with either of them so I won't go into detail on their story, but they died. They chose to die, rather than anyone else forcing them to do it. The Sun was furious, of course - he saw so many of us, proto-planets, die that he can't stand more of it happening - and he wanted someone to blame.
"I told him, that it came down to it being their choice. That the best thing we could do, instead of punishing anyone, was to move on. I...
"I never wanted him to take out his anger at them on Earth. It was never Earth's choice, or Luna's choice, how he was made! And seeing that, how he treated them, when from the sound of it he remembered dying, from both of their memories... I think that was when I stopped actually trusting the Sun. Not just being scared of him, but when I started thinking I should keep some ideas to myself. All that time I've been enabling him - his choices are his, and I don't think I could have stopped the Sun in any of his plans, if I'd spoken up more... but maybe I could have. Maybe I'm just a bad friend. I don't know for sure anymore."
3. Jupiter
"So I'm Jupiter; largest planet of this system, and the second-most massive being in it following the Sun. He's... my first memories are of him. He was so happy to have someone to share - just being alive with.
"But. Well, he IS over 99% of our solar system's mass, and even I'm just a tenth of a percent of it all. He was friendly, but could be frightening. It was a little easier, when Saturn and- and X gained their sentience, same with Uranus and Neptune. They were all a lot closer to me in size.
"I don't have an excuse, for how I killed those first rocky planets. It. It still haunts me, tell you the truth. I know I can never make up for that, not really. My role in this system now is to keep the Asteroid Belt in check, to keep the younger generations of rockies safe.
"... I still feel like I've failed them. Then, and now. The Sun's right; I was too scared of him to tell the truth, so when it did come out it was a whole lot worse for everyone. Not sure if that's a lack of trust, or just being a coward. And - history can't literally repeat itself, but it does rhyme, and that describes our protest of the Sun's enforcing orbits pretty well too.
"I think - it would be easier to just be punished if I knew the others would be safe. If it could just be me... but life's never that simple. Even when they were angry with me, when they didn't know what to think of me anymore, the work of keeping the Belt in check still needed to be done. They didn't deserve to suffer all of that. Not my moons, not the other planets. Not even X.
"I'm sorry. I just... I wish I could be enough. Or do enough, or something, to fix all of this."
4. Venus
"I know we haven't talked about her yet, but I'm going to talk about Theia. It's... easier, than just talking about myself.
"She was - she wasn't the youngest rocky planet, or the smallest, but by Sagittarius she was smartest, and the most... eager. Energetic. She wanted to know what Life was about, she wanted to make plans when the rest of us were just idiots trying to figure out who was better.
"She was my first friend. The first in this system I could think of as a friend, anyway. I - I did, or thought I did, everything I could to fuel that friendship. All I ended up doing was weirding her out and pushing her towards other people.
"Like Proto. Proto-Earth. It's easier to not be so mad at him now, but I hated him. Was jealous, rather. Real stupid of me to make such a big deal out of it. But then, he is - they are... they're also dead now. Both of them.
"The thing is, I knew the Sun would disapprove, of their plan to be a double-planet system. They were both large enough that their orbiting around each other would be fundamentally unstable, a lot riskier than the small double-planet Pluto and Charon. So I was jealous, but I also didn't want to see Theia dead.
"I told her - when she was feeling down-and-out about her own plan, about her hopes and dreams of bringing Life into the universe - to go ahead and talk to the Sun. I thought the Sun would say his piece, do his thing, and there'd be no more plan. No more of Theia and Proto as a duo.
"I was wrong. More than that, Theia was miserable when he separated them, placing them in exact opposite parts of Proto-Earth's orbit. That was when... no. That wasn't when I stopped trusting the Sun, but that was when I realized what I'd done was wrong. Maybe not, uh, existentially, but for them it was the wrong answer.
"So. So I went to her, did a bang-up job of an apology. This was years later, and nothing had changed. And, when the Sun was distracted - I threw her out of orbit, told her to go to to Proto. I trusted her, that she'd figure out what to do."
"And maybe it was right, because we have organic Life in our system now... but it was still wrong, because they're both dead. And we just... for the longest time, we never talked about them. Each of us mourned them alone. I'm pretty sure the Sun still hates them both to this day, for going against his orders. And that... that's when I stopped trusting the Sun. When he just dismissed their memories as so much space dust."
5. Saturn
"I'm not the best talker of us, usually. My memory is terrible, but I've been working on it, for my moons' sake.
"Most of what - of what I regret, doesn't have to do with the Sun. He didn't know about what happened to the moons that- that died and became my rings. He had nothing to do with it! So while he's frightening, a-and I know lying about what happened to X made things worse in the end, that's not what haunts me the most.
"I know I've done wrong. I just can't remember it. And if I can't remember how it happened, how can I make sure it doesn't happen again? How can I criticize the Sun when I can't do better myself? I don't deserve my moons, but that even some of them are willing to trust me anyway... it means everything.
"There is one thing: the way we were, when we were compelled to follow our real orbits, I couldn't see most of my moons at all. I don't know what's wrong with me, or if it's tied to my terrible memory, but I don't want to forget their names again! I need - I need our 'cartoonish physics' so I can keep myself on track and be a better planet to them, as ironic as that maybe sounds."
6. Uranus
"Iiii don't have a specific incident with the Sun - I've faced a solar flare or two, for cutting out of my orbit to explore - but it's just. A trend. He's a right terror when he's angry, so a lot of what I do - or did - was just about going along to get along. To belong, to have friends.
"The thing is, I already had my cousin, Neptune. And my moons - before I scared them away, and it took an awful long time for me to get myself straight and really apologize where they'd hear me out. I... neglected them, just for someone I thought thought I was cool. I get it now, that X was just - that he didn't want my friendship, he just wanted me in his corner. He put all our moons in danger, trying to get revenge against Jupiter. And I still followed him, e-even when I felt guilty, because I couldn't hear that anyone else wanted me around for me.
"Neptune stopped me. He - he has memory troubles, way worse than Saturn, since his orbit's so far out against the Kuiper Belt. But he said... he said he'd always remember me. And his moons.
"So he was there for me, when I was actually at my lowest. ... I think I can deal with being scared of the Sun, as long as we're together. Us, and our moons."
7. Neptune
"Is it okay if I treat this like I'm talking to Triton? Because a lot of this IS about him. And how he deserved the truth, even after... even after.
"So reeeaally early on in our lives, there were a lot of proto rocky planets, especially in the inner solar system. They crashed into each other a LOT, no matter what the Sun did, and it was pretty gruesome. He... the Sun, never took it well. Uranus was scared, I was scared - not even of death, morbid as it was! Just of him.
"And we met a couple of rocky planets in the Kuiper Belt too! Their names are... Pluto and Charon, that's it! They're a double planet, or double moon, or planet-and-moon. Not sure the distinction matters. Anyway, we took them to the Sun, who was really happy to meet them! It was nice to see him happy instead of upset and all.
"But, after we got back... I never saw exactly what happened, I know I told Triton the truth about that. I think I was asleep, when my gravity pulled him in. I had a small number of moons then, but none of them had woken up yet.
"When I next woke up, there was... there was all this debris, and Triton was unconscious. I never - I never saw his twin, his partner. My gravity must have split them up, too. I'm sorry, but 'I'm sorry' never sounds like enough for something that... big. That wrong.
"And Uranus reminded me of what the Sun was like, seeing all those destroyed planets. If I'd told the Sun the truth, would he have punished me? But that I could have lived with. Instead, I was scared for Triton. What if the Sun had blamed him, for what my gravity did?
"So... I'm pretty sure the Sun just didn't care, or something, since he didn't attack either of us. Not sure if that means I never NEEDED to lie, or if the Sun's priorities were elsewhere. I can understand that! It's just hard to predict; all we have is hindsight. We've done a LOT of things that may not have been necessary, in hindsight. All of us made mistakes. All of us - at least sometimes - are at the mercy of physics and the ways of this universe. It is what it is; we just have to be willing to live with it.
So if - if the others, my moons, don't feel safe around me with the truth out, then they have the right to... to find their own way. I want them to be safe and happy, no matter what the Sun does, or what I do!"
8. Mars
"Is this... is all this really necessary? Taking a hard look at- at everything? E-especially to strangers, people who weren't there. It all feels overwhelming, still, to think about. At least for me.
"So you know about Proto-Earth and Theia at this point, right? I - I guess you could say I grew up with them, they were part of the same 'generation' of rocky planets as me. I was always closer with Proto than Theia; it was easier, to share things and learn things together with him. That made it a lot harder... when he chose Theia. She. She encouraged him to be brave, in a way I never did, I guess. And- and then everything with the Sun, and them wanting to share an orbit...
"I just wanted him to be happy. Jupiter tried to help me understand, but- but you shouldn't have to die to get to be happy, right?!
"Th-that's what I mean, when I said this was overwhelming. And it didn't stop there.
"The Sun asked everyone what part they'd had to play in it; and after he questioned us all, I thought it'd be over. Their - Proto and Theia's - their debris reformed into a new planet-and-moon system. They didn't know what was going on, not really.
"Just, even now, both of them sometimes act in ways Proto or Theia would. It's hard not to see it, once you've known them all. I think I have a harder time separating them than most, just because the feelings are so strong.
"The thing was, the Sun still wanted Life. He never wanted to admit that Theia - that any of us - could have understood the ways of the universe more than he did. But once we - Venus, Earth and I - started developing more of the right conditions, especially gathering enough water...
"I had - there's these chunks of solid rock in my mantle and crust. I was born small, so I had a harder time recycling them. All that time orbiting the Sun, fighting the solar wind... my atmosphere and magnetic field, they used to be more than they are now.
"I don't like thinking about what happened next. How I lost them both. I- I know, now, what Jupiter did, and it hurts to know what he was like before he changed, but I think- I keep thinking about how he had to watch, what the Sun did with us.
"... Right. Right. So the Sun likes games, and competitions and stuff. He turned developing Life 'first' into a game. Figuring out how chemistry became biology, manipulating our environments to make them more habitable. We all had to do it, the three of us. I never liked it, definitely not as much as Venus and Earth did. It was exhausting. And.
"And if we complained, or if we didn't all complete one of his goals before his arbitrary time limit, he... it wasn't a solar flare, I don't think. But it hurt, and it reset all our efforts. If we were doing something with asteroids or played with them instead of completing the latest challenge, he made us eat them instead. They weren't sentient, not those. But it still wasn't good for me, not when I already had so much material I couldn't melt down and reuse.
"Venus - he always wanted life. Never wanted to ADMIT it, or show weakness, but I could see it well enough. He'd have done anything to make things stick. ... But he always hated himself more. I think he was sabotaging himself, because he couldn't imagine it working out for him.
"And then... I know the Sun carries a lot of weight, and even with the things he does, or how crazy he acts, he cared. He didn't want us destroyed, no matter what we got up to. But Earth... the Sun was always hardest on him."
"Can, can I stop for now? I think I need a break."
9. Earth
"Ugh, can you all stop looking at me like that? It's like, because I have Life, everyone thinks I'm fragile and can't take care of myself!
"... Sorry. That was out of line. But you're all here because of what X said about our solar system, and you wanted the rest of the story so you could have a more accurate picture, right? ... I don't like having so many people paying this much attention to me. I know Luna doesn't like crowds, and I'm starting to think I don't, either.
"Thanks. I don't know what I did that finally made Life take - stars know I've nearly lost them way too frequently over the past billion years - but if there's one thing I know, it's that I'm proud of them. That's what being a pl- being a parent means, right?
"Okay, so the Sun's always been crazy. At least as long as I've known him, and I know, I know, I'm the youngest. They told you about Proto and Theia, right? Yeah, I remember them now - that is, I have their memories. Luna may have some, too, but every time we try to compare notes, something seems to happen and we have another crisis to handle. It never ends.
"So, Proto and Theia. I remember their lives. A-and their deaths. That was not fun dealing with right away, either; I was... I got flashes of their memories whenever Theia's name was mentioned. It freaked everyone else out.
"... I still feel kind of responsible, for the rest of the solar system not getting to mourn them more. Everyone seemed to think I'd have another episode, so they just stopped mentioning them altogether. Not a great choice, there.
"Do I remember how- oh. You want to hear about that. I know I talk about my Earthlings a lot - they get up to so much! - but not so much how it started. ...
"No, I'm fine! Stop looking at me like that! I'm fine, I can keep going, I swear.
"So there were all these... not so much stages, as events. There always seemed to be something - objects from the Kuiper Belt, dust fields we were passing through, stray gamma rays - and then I'd get sick, and it'd nearly wipe out everything I had, all the Life I'd harbored to that point.
"Wait, you don't mean that? W-well, there were several extinction events, and they hurt, but it's not really fair to say they were anyone's fault. Jupiter, or Neptune... we don't always control what our gravity does. And lately, anyway, the problems have mostly been... social.
"Most of my problems were... pushing others away, or treating them like prizes instead of- of people. But, Mercury and Luna... when I was at my lowest, they came back after me. Wanted to be sure I wanted to get better, spent time and energy making sure I recovered.
"My lowest? Well, uh. I tried to throw myself into the Sun. Hey! Hey!! I'm okay now, so stop... stop panicking. Please? Just let me talk?
"... So. Do you want to hear more about the present, or the past?
"I. I don't remember? I don't think the Sun's locked us in orbit - or on our axial tilts - before, but he could have. There's. Still some things I just don't remember. I surprised Venus once, not remembering when he had surface water and a thinner atmosphere. But he said that was only 700 million years ago, and I know I was conscious and looking after my Earthlings then! I wasn't in another coma!
"Yyyeah, I ended up in one while trying to sort out Proto and Theia's memories. Can you all stop getting distracted? Please?
"So, past. As I was trying to say, there's things I still don't remember. All those extinction events, they've all happened within the last billion years. And each time, even though I was scared witless, Life's been able to recover. Even- even after the dinosaurs went extinct, Life grew back with a vengeance. Everything from bacteria on up... they have a system. My biomes each have a place, food chains, carbon cycles and so on, to keep themselves stable. Homeostasis. But it does leave scars. It's like... I'm regrowing me, every time something happens to them.
"So the Sun, and I really don't like saying this, has a point. I can't just... leave my orbit, or play asteroid dodgeball with Mars, or spend time with the outer solar system's moons and get to know them better, just because they're things I WANT to do. I have to be responsible, even when I don't feel like it.
"That's... not so much being a parent, as what being an 'adult' means, right? Putting more serious matters first?
"Ugh, fine, I'll start again. I'm four-point-five billion years old, and I'm still the youngest rocky planet in this system. I have one moon - Luna - and I really can't imagine being without them. I have friends, and... we've failed each other, but that doesn't mean we stop being friends, or stop being a system, right? We still have things in common, even the things we need to work on, but we're still better together than apart, or alone.
"And the Sun...
"I. I don't. I don't feel so good-"